Let's Talk Event Dressing

with some tips and editing BTS in my own closet

Hello Readers!

Apologies this newsletter is going out a day late — this was an impromptu topic that I decided to start writing last week and I planned for it to be short and sweet, but then of course, I started to think about it more and decided to expand upon it. I appreciate your patience while I reworked my original draft!

What prompted this week’s topic — I attended a wedding in San Francisco last week and rather than shop for a new or more “trendy” dress, I wore an old one.

7 years old to be exact.

I somehow was able to find the original receipt in my email. I think I had another piece from this Australian designer on my wish list and through my searches, stumbled upon this dress, which I immediately purchased.

I shared what I wore, along with some general thoughts about event dressing, which sparked a lot of conversations within my IG DMs:

I screenshotted this COS dress - a piece I feel like I would wear 5 years from now and still love. I don’t have a need for it though so am not getting it!

So today, I thought I’d share the following:

• What my thought process is when deciding to buy “event” pieces

• How I choose what to wear to events like weddings

• BTS on an edit I ended up doing for the “event” pieces I currently own

• Links to some similar styles and ones I have my eye on

Now, keep in mind that this is based on my experiences and lifestyle. If you go to 2-3 of these types of special occasion events a week/month, or you haven’t gone to one in 5+ years, it may not directly apply! However, if you typically have 1-2 of these types of events a year, or even every other year, I hope this helps!

Tips For Buying Special Event Pieces

1. If you find a dress that resonates with you, buy it. The occasion will find you!

   This feels like counter-intuitive advice since I have written about fantasy shopping before but hear me out!

   I don’t think you should try to buy an outfit to fit the occasion. This tends to get you caught up on prioritizing external factors — like what others will be wearing, what the trend is for the season, or the “theme” of the event vs internal factors — like how you feel and what you are most confident and yourself in. It also leads to the impulse shopping and last minute panic of trying to find something that can “work”, leading you to show up in an outfit that just feels ok.

   Rather, find the pieces that speak to your personal style and let those pieces adapt to the special occasions. You’ll always feel more comfortable, confident, and like yourself when your clothes speak to you. It allows you to wear the clothes vs the other way around. This is how you actually avoid feeling the need to buy something new every time an event comes up.

   

   Worn to a wedding in 2018 + again in 2024. (Say hello to my husband, Chris!) Same dress, different accessories. This helps modernize the look and evolves the piece with my own style. I wore in 2018 with fur heels (lol, that was a trend at one point in case you forgot) + in 2024 with minimal black heels. I’ve worn it a handful of times in between but don’t have any photos to share! I also lent it to friends and my sister during the times I didn’t fit into it (more on that below!).

   2. How to figure out what “resonates”

   I tend to associate resonance with an internal gut feeling. An emotional connection. It feels different than other pieces you are browsing that you quickly move on from. It stops you in your tracks. Or you keep going back and looking at it.

   It takes a bit of trial and error and you won’t always get it right, but that’s ok! I always recommend trying items on if you feel it might be resonating. You’ll probably know once you try it on so rather than just spending too much time thinking about it, just try it on to put your mind at ease. The worst that happens is you just return it because you changed your mind!

   The “100% Yes” feeling can feel a bit like…tingling in your body, a sense of lightness, of total ease. A sudden smile on your face. Your mind telling you the reasons why you don’t need it, but your gut says yes!

   The “Not For Me” feeling will probably feel a bit like…fussiness or discomfort of any kind (either physical or internal), questionable reactions (shrugs, smirks, no big smile), indecision on if you really like it. Your mind trying to convince you to just buy it, but your gut says no.

   Note that the pieces that resonate with you now don’t need to resonate with you forever! That’s too much pressure for our clothes!! I always say we evolve as individuals and so should our clothes. While some pieces will stay with us for many years, others may part ways a few short years later and that’s totally ok. This tip is just to help you navigate all the options out there and make better shopping decisions.

3. Think About Versatility + Long Term Wearability

   While I think the pieces that really resonate are great purchases to consider, you still need to think about versatility. In this case, it doesn’t necessarily need to be that you have to wear it 5 different ways, though that would be great too! It’s more about choosing pieces that don’t reflect a very specific trend/theme/moment in time. That allows you to wear it to different types of events when you need to, or be able to wear it for the 3rd, 4th or 10th time and not get bored of it or feel “dated”. While you can buy a full-on sequin and feathered dress if it really speaks to you, filter your decision through this tip before swiping your credit card!

   For me, my sweet spot has been neutral colors, luxe fabrics or interesting textures, and clean lines. Pieces I can layer under and over for versatility.

   

   This screenshot from Amy Smilovic of Tibi always comes to mind. When you find pieces that speak to your style + are more versatile, they stay longer in your closet. There’s nothing wrong with the floral and lace dresses on the bottom but they speak to a very one-off theme/trend and you will probably get sick of wearing it and seeing yourself in photos in the same dress after the handful of times you wear it because it’s more overtly specific.

4. All you need are new accessories and a POV

   Let’s say you only have a couple event dresses…how do you avoid the feeling of needing to buy something new and fresh?

   People think that what you wear to a wedding in Sonoma needs to be drastically different than a what you wear to a wedding in Italy. Or that a dress you wear for a wedding can’t also be worn for a work event, or night at the ballet.

   Similar to tip #1, don’t focus so much on the clothing to fit the vibe of an event. You can express your POV and let the “old” item reflect your evolved style with the right accessories and styling.

   A great example of this is from my Sienna Miller post. Here’s someone who has access to any designer and a massive wardrobe at her disposal. But she’s a proud event dress outfit repeater and knows the power of switching up your hair, makeup, and accessories to meet the vibe.

5. How To Build Your Wish List

   If I was shopping for new event pieces now, I would just keep an eye out. If you don’t want to immediately purchase, create a wish list and add to it, whether it be specific brands or styles:

   1. Refer back to it when you know you have an upcoming event so you aren’t starting from complete scratch

   2. Have it handy for any sales — I don’t recommend buying something just because it’s on sale but if it’s something you hearted prior to the markdown and you still love it, you know you would actually enjoy wearing it

   3. Shop secondhand — I have no actual data points on this but I feel like dressier pieces tend to be one of the first to get edited out of closets and one of the last to be purchased. There’s probably some great finds that you can give a great second home too! You can most likely find beautiful pieces by designers you love at a similar price of mid-tier to contemporary new styles

   4. Rentals - Renting special occasion pieces is a great way to shop and dress for events, especially if you find you always want to switch it up or if you rarely have these types of events on the calendar. Just give yourself time to create a wish list so you have specific styles or brands to search for. You want to avoid the last minute panic shopping for rentals as well!

6. How to decide what to wear to what event

   My approach to getting dressed for anything typically follows the same thought process, or formula. Whether it’s special occasions or travel.

   • Climate - what’s the temp and what do I need to consider (ie: layers, outerwear)

   • Location - is it mainly indoors? or are you walking around pebbled grounds outside all day?

   • Surroundings - is it on the beach in Mexico, or at a country club in the South? I don’t try to fit into the surroundings but I use this information to inform how I style my outfit (ie: a raffia clutch for Mexico vs a delicate, feminine satin clutch for a country club)

   • Activity Level - will it be a lot of walking, or hopping in and out of cabs?

   • Level of Formality - is it cocktail attire or black tie? I won’t break it down in this newsletter but if you have questions, feel free to drop it in the chat!

Now onto my own personal event dress edit!

This is the section of the newsletter that I decided to include at the last minute! Between our move and constant travel the last couple of years, I haven’t been able to do a proper wardrobe edit so I figured I would do it now and share my thought process. Most of the pieces are 3-5+ years old so it’s a good time to revisit!

A few things to note:

• My current lifestyle is very different than the years before as we moved upstate for the year. All of these pieces were purchased at a time when I had a lot of weddings, social events, and work events and trips on my calendar each year. While my lifestyle changed recently, I tend to hold onto event pieces a bit longer as I’m ok with not wearing them frequently.

• The same applies for any that no longer fit. It isn’t the case at this moment but my burgundy silk dress didn’t fit for a handful of years so I instead lent it out to friends or family who needed a last minute dress so they didn’t have to buy one. I store away anything I want to keep that doesn’t fit and revisit at a later date, usually 3-6 months later.

• I’ve included any photos I could find of when I’ve worn these specific pieces. Otherwise, I styled how I have worn it before, or how I would plan to wear it in the future. I didn’t focus a lot of time on shoes + accessories as I was short on time, although I know that would probably help!