Notes on Style
and what I learned from the last four years of mine
Hi Readers,
One of the questions I often get asked is how I “manage” my wardrobe and what I do to refine my style over time.
It’s something I help my clients with all the time — uploading their wardrobes, adding new purchases, creating look books — but it’s actually something I don’t spend a lot of time on for myself. Even before becoming a stylist, I always just ebbed and flowed without any systems in place. (Note that systems are different than strategy!)
I don’t have an Indyx or any kind of digital wardrobe (though that would have been nice had I known my things would be in 3+ places for the past few years!) , no organized Pinterest boards, no look books where I create outfits for myself…just a folder of screenshots and my outfit selfies.
It’s funny because I actually never took outfit selfies until I started to seriously think about writing this newsletter and becoming a stylist and I realized, “I need some content!” but it’s actually a really helpful tool that I keep going back to as I evolve my style.
So much of what we we consume these days are focused on the present performative moment — the “It” new pieces or brands, the new styling tricks to try, and whatever the cool girls are wearing now — but none of this really matters if you don’t know what you want from your own style.
What actually helps your style is understanding the through lines and context behind the outfits that were (ie: the past)
It’s the same reason designers and stylists reference archives - there is something to be understood and learned from the things that have already been created. There’s history and meaning that gives you context.
Without that, the rest is just noise.
Which is why one of the things I always encourage clients to do is take outfit selfies for reference.
There’s so many great benefits to this - to help you get dressed on the days you have no clue what to wear, to inspire yourself with outfits you felt great in, to have a point of reference as you evolve their style over time.
Think of it like your own personal archive!
I was thinking about all of this as I was unpacking from our move. We packed our things in LA thinking we would unpack everything within 6 months and those 6 months turned into four years(?!) so seeing the things I had boxed up took me down memory lane.
So, I scrolled through ~4 years of outfit selfies and here’s what I’ve learned about my style — the good, the bad, the question marks.
(The rest of my camera roll consists of dog photos, client photos, random nature scenes, and food pics I never post but take like a professional.)
I hope this exercise can show you that you don’t need all the tools and systems to get some quick clarity on your style. Sometimes you just need to stop focusing so much on the present and look at the past to help tell your style story.
The good outfits help you refine your style language — what you feel most comfortable in, what you aspire to, what you emotionally connect with. They connect what sometimes feels like an impromptu choice into bigger themes that inform what authentic dressing means for you.
The bad outfits often bring more clarity than the good ones in my opinion. And no good style comes without bad outfits.
Those times you wear an outfit and just feel off but can’t quite put your finger on what it is? There’s themes there too if you take the time to look.
The purchases you continue to buy even though you rarely reach for them? That’s the building blocks of becoming a more intentional observer vs a consumer - the noticeable shift from a dopamine-rushed “I want that” or “I’m going to buy it because it looks cute on her” to a calm and grounding “I love it but it’s not for me”.
The fun part of your style journey is figuring out the nuances of your style — what you like vs what you dislike, what you feel best in vs what feels like a costume. The nuance is what can take years and years to uncover. It’s the sticky middle that can be so fun to figure out and it doesn’t happen overnight.
Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint!
First, the things I feel REALLY GOOD about when it comes to my style!
1. I Feel The Best In White
When I look at these outfits compared to others, I can sense the difference even now just looking at photos. It’s a feeling of strength and a sense of calm at the same time. White can feel sharp and relaxed so it inherently has that interesting tension built in that speaks to my style language:
Modern (sharp)
Lived-In (relaxed)
Unexpected
You know how I always say don’t be precious with your white clothes? I think it’s because I clearly have had years of practice getting them dirty or stained that I must have built up a tolerance! Life is too short not to wear what you want to wear :)
Also, a Tide pen helps.
This is also the essence behind what I mean when I say the best way to find your style is through repetition and iteration.
Figuring out what feels like you and then continuing to come back to it. That’s how you hone your style. Whether it’s something as bold as a statement piece, or something as simple as just liking white outfits!
It’s like starting a new hobby or a workout. You have to put the reps in until it no longer feels new and uncomfortable. Through enough repetition of outfits, you’ll get more comfortable with it to where it just feels like a second skin.
White As A Signature
2. If It Can’t Be White, Then Tonal Feels Just Right
All black, shades of denim, tonal shades, monochrome…
I always say tonal and monochrome is the quickest way to expedite your chic and I find I reach for this type of dressing because it just helps me get ready quickly while still making me feel good.
I also like this for my clients because there’s something for everyone:
If you want minimal or modern, shades of Black, White, Navy, or Grey are an easy way to do this
If you love color, shades of red, blues, greens (really anything!)
If you prefer to be more casual, shades of denim or khaki or olive
If you want interest or texture, similar shades but in silk, leather, or embellishment
Focusing on tones, not specific colors
3. One Good Dress Is All You Need
I tend to find one great dress and stick to it. Repeating as often as I want. Dress it up, dress it down. Wear it on a weekday, wear it on a trip. Wear it in the city, wear it in the country. Wear it in the evenings, wear it to a wedding.
It’s not that I don’t have more than just these dresses but I don’t feel the need to rely on a new dress to feel “ready” for something on my calendar. You start thinking less about what everyone else is wearing, or getting stuck on a dress code, once you find a dress you feel great in!
Dress for your vibe, not the location.
4. The Same With Prints
You’ve heard me say this before but prints are an emotional buy. Meaning that you need to really resonate with it in order to not get sick of it after a year. (Unless it’s a vintage or graphic tee, which I think no one can ever get sick of!)
Similar to dresses, prints can feel like a default purchase to make your wardrobe more fun and interesting but without that emotional resonance, it’s something that I see people get sick of faster than neutrals. It’s a common blindspot and one of the most common thing I edit out of clients’ closets.
The same goes for “classic” prints. If you love a stripe or dot, find one good one and repeat it vs filling your closet with variations and then feeling like you never want to wear your favorite print again!
And if you need a refresher on the idea of depth (more of the same) vs breadth (variety), check it out here!
